she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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