just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
