her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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