youre lurking in front of me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
