Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
