I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
