i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
