they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
