Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i now understand why vodka
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize