So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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