drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
