Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
