shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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