I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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