How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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