are you so shy because you have an std?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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