If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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