im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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