In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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