you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
