Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
