i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
