I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A+ Viking dick
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
