You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
