They should really pass out barf bags in church
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
