hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
