pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize