Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
