I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
