i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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