I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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