Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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