Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am one with the molecules
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
