I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
