ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
only if we run a train.
done.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
