That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
