Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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