someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
