just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
