I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
