U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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