my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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