i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
