Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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