the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
