Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
