Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
