honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The air taste purple.
Randomize
