phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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