Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Umm I'm too high to move.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Your dad touched me again.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
