I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
