Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
