I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
