I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
