hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
