We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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