nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
