just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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