i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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