Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I believe in your delicious
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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