can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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