i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
