hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize