she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
